School-Family Partnership, The Real Solution For School Success

The interview for parents:

The family composition varies depending on their structure, normal traditional families and single-parent families where the parent is either the mother or the father. The number of children varies from one family to another (usually one or two children, rarely three). Leaving conditions are determined by the financial means of the parents. The difficulties of family life are related to the professional training and the job of the parents. These difficulties depend also on the relation between the mother and the father.

The single-parent families face material and financial problems, the income is low, consumption necessities are high and poverty risk is increased (15%). They also face affective problems due to the absence of one of the adult partners. Single parents are usually frustrated and unsatisfied. These families are sometimes labelled and marginalised. 5% of these families use the social services available in the community, and 10% consider that the school, church, townhall, police should be more involved in solving the problems they face.

In the case of traditional families, financial difficulties are not major, relations between the members can present ups and downs influencing the affective environment, but interest is being displayed for the time allocated to children and family activities, as well as to the relation with the school.

In 80% of the cases, the parents in traditional families monitor the education path of the children by keeping contact with the school, being involved in the activities performed by schools. Usually parents encourage children to take part in school competitions, cultural and sport activities, trips, camps, etc. The parents monitor school performance and discipline being constantly in touch with the school through the usual channels: parent meetings, parent consultations, parent committees. There are also parents (10%) that do not answer to the school’s demands in terms of discipline and education performance.

A good relation between school and family improves the educational environment in schools. The answers provided by parents show that the highest difficulty in communicating with schools is represented by the limited time allocated to this communication and the lack of interest manifested by some parents towards this communication. The school uses the available means to sufficiently support families in solving children’s education and discipline problems. The most efficient communication means between families and schools are parent meetings and consultations, as well as families’ participation in all school requirements. The interviewed parents qualified the cooperation between family and school as “very good” in most of the cases.

6.1.2. The interview for teachers:

In 80% of the cases, the relation between school, teachers, and families is good and normal. While the relation is good, there is always room for improvement. There are cases (15%) where the school-family relationship is superficial, one of the partners not really being involved in the education activities. There are situations where the relation between school and family needs to be improved.

Teachers declare that they cooperate with families using the usual means (parent meetings, individual consultations, as well as their involvement in extracurricular activities, referrals to specialists).

The means of improving the cooperation between family and school revealed by the teachers involved in the research are the following: parents need to be made aware that the school-family cooperation is important for children; using activities that parents show interest in; explaining the benefits and performance of other type of activities; planning activities with parents based on their spare time; reducing the time allocated to parent meetings by compressing the materials presented and providing hard- or digital (CD) copies and using the available time for discussing and sharing information about the issues exposed, while also providing practical solutions.

The action unity of the two parties (school and family) with respect to developing children is conditioned by a common way of working and a good mutual awareness, and everything starts with the teachers getting to know the families and their characteristics and educational potential. The school systematically develops both families and children, so that each pupil is able to make a proper selection depending on personal interests and skills. The school is constantly monitoring the education performance as well as the discipline of the pupils and promptly takes the necessary measures.

The school-family partnership is an objective necessity because this cooperation is the only way to ensure a normal educational development with positive results.

6.3.1. Love – fundamental state in the emotional development of the child

Education in the family and the educational environment is appropriate when taking into account the emotional needs of the children before taking concrete actions.

In order to have a good image of themselves and to be able to adapt to the environment they come into contact with, and to the stressful and tense situations in life, children need to feel emotionally affectionate (that their parents love them and care for them). In the current social context, many children and adults have anxiety and depression, developing the complex of inferiority. This prevents them from operating at their full potential in this difficult and competitive society in which we live, so that many take a path that seems more accessible - that of destructive behaviors.

Children need love, and this is what all parents know, but few give them the active affection they would need. To constantly and totally develop the emotional side of their personality while they are still growing, children need a healthy and permanent relationship with the adults who really care about them and fill their emotional reservoir whenever it is needed.

In all human relationships, facts are more telling than words. Love and affection for children must be demonstrated and not only affirmed and supposed. This means that parents must communicate love to the child through emotional and behavioral ways, and express love verbally and non-verbally every day. But what determines the child to feel loved is based more on what we do than what we say.

Both deeds and words must be used daily; when they logically combine to fill the child’s reservoir of love, they acquire the necessary energy to develop strongly from all points of view (Campbell, 2001, p. 42).

6.3.2. How to shape disciplined behaviour in our child?

Discipline is not synonymous with punishment, which is a form of discipline but a negative one; punishment must represent only a small part of being disciplined. The reason education is becoming more and more difficult, and more and more children end up bad is that the parent-child relationship has become primarily negative.

Parents can make this relationship positive again. It is natural to use all available positive resources before resorting to the negative ones. There are times when the use of punishment is appopriate; however, many parents use it as the primary means of sanctioning their children. This is a type of reactive education and is largely blamed for the anti-authority attitude that we find in many children.

The most important thing about good discipline is that parents make children feel safe, protected and loved. After which they can shape them in terms of the mind and character so that they can become active members of society, able to completely master themselves. The discipline involves training, concrete and accurate actions, sure steps to follow; effective discipline uses all kinds of possible communication: the power of personal example, role-models to follow, verbal instructions, preparing and setting up situations from which to learn while at the same time having fun.

Punishment is also part of the discipline and has its place in raising the child, but should never be used as the primary means. Guiding the child to what is good in life is far more important than punishing the child for their mistakes.

The child must identify with their parents, with the model they provide, to accept their advice without resentment, hostility or opposition. When the child fails to identify with their parents and does not feel loved, they consider any parental wishes to be forceful and learn to reject the ideas. Many children today have a negative view of parental authority. It extends to the idea of authority in general and leads exactly to the opposite of the expected outcome.

This disrespectful behavior extends beyond the family environment, reaching school as well as other environments frequented by the child.

6.3.3. Learn to secure your child emotionally and physically!

Every child needs a parent to protect them from any physical and emotional troubles. Today's parents need to protect their children properly, especially when being aware of the negative influences that exist in our society. This is how to avoid the discrepancy between what parents assume their children are doing and what they actually do.

In an increasingly permissive society, it is our responsibility and our privilege - parents and teachers - to shape children so that they think rationally. That is how we can prepare them to deal with negative influences and distinguish between sincere and dubious messages, to analyze the direct or indirect consequences that can reflect upon them.

As our society continues to lose its spiritual and moral heritage, parents concerned with education cannot let someone else from the child’ entourage deal with their moral and ethical training.

The hardest thing for parents is to give children enough protection and to know exactly when to give them the right to be independent, to make it alone. They want to be sure that the child can cope in a certain situation before being autonomous, but they do not want them to start from the idea that parents try to hinder them or prevent them from becoming autonomous in a certain direction. The idea of protection and of letting the child manage on their own go very well together.

6.3.4. Controlling the feeling of anger/ rage – between explanation and exemplification

The feeling of anger can become a threat to the good of the child. The extent to which the child learns to master their anger will determine the outcome of the most important moments in their life. A weak management of anger can destroy the child's life, can cause or aggravate any present or potential problem that the child may have from bad grades to destructive relationships, depressions and even suicides.

From the parent's perspective, uncontrolled rage is reflected in irrational and violent behaviors. It often prevents us from thinking that it has a detrimental influence on personal motivations. Anger directed toward a small child is scary, especially when it comes from a parent. The child is helpless in the face of the parent’s anger and that is why there is the danger of an emotional blockage. If the parent does not control their own anger, the child’s fear will turn into resentment and into anti-parent attitudes and behaviours.

Education based on stimulating emotional intelligence can make a full contribution to family peace and harmony. The basic idea is that parents work with their own emotions and children's emotions intelligently, constructively, positively and creatively, respecting the biological realities and the role of feelings in human nature.

Like most things that create meaning in our lives and bring us satisfaction, education is a fairly complex and profound process. Education based on emotional intelligence starts from the fact that all our actions, both those that concern the important and the small, every day matters allow us to create a healthy balance in the family environment, and in the relations with children (Elias, Tobias, & Friedlander, 2012).

Parents' actions must emphasize the importance of feelings and help children control emotions, instead of acting impulsively or letting themselves feel overwhelmed.

For some children, life is tough and insecure, for others it is full of tension. In both cases, losing control may mean the loss of some rights, the loss of extracurricular or mentoring activities, the loss of opportunities to find a job or even placement in special or boarding schools. Children need a positive environment that offers them many opportunities, and education based on emotional intelligence can increase their chances.

Essentially, children are good, with the support of their parents and school, they will know how to distinguish the good from evil and make the right decisions, they will have an ascendant course. The absence of family and educational support can bring about the formation of the consciousness of their own feelings, the ability to control their impulses, the setting of goals and action plans, the manifestation of sensitivity towards the feelings of others and / or the development of special skills – key elements of emotional development. One way to help children form new skills is to oversee and make them aware of their own behavior. Behavioral surveillance allows for increased self-awareness and self-supervision. It also helps parents look objectively at some behavior, see how bad it is in reality, and whether the situation improves or not.

The focal point of education in personality building, both inside the family and in school, is the independence of the child, their ability to decide, to assume responsibility, to respect themselves and to develop confidence in their own forces.

At any time of existence, doing any activity is greatly facilitated if individuals trust in themselves and in their possibilities to solve the existing situations. It is said that half the road is crossed when you trust yourself. The basis of this force lies in self-knowledge and trust in overcoming obstacles, the force with which the child is charged with the help of parents and school on their educational path.

Parents are the foundation of the emotional development of the child, they are the ones that satisfy the child's emotional and loving needs, the need for physical protection, the need to establish discipline for the development of a socio-emotionally adapted behavior, the need to control feelings and emotions in developing the consciousness of their own feelings, the need to be autonomous, to have life goals. The role of the teacher is to contribute to the emotional development of the child, and where that is lacking, they must assume an active role in its development.